I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
