we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
