We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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