My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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