And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
