Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I understand Curling. That high.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize