Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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