I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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