U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize