how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
