Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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