I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
