So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
