i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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