Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
