I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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