he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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