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Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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