eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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