Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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