ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize