32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize