that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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