Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
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I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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