That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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