I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
