I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
