I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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