He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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