Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
