i barfeds in our rink
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
why is half of my head shaved?
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