OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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