Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize