she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize