you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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