You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize