You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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