He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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