yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
