I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
