You can't special order awesome
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize