her vagine was all disorganized.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
