There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
ok first of all what the fuck
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize