I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my mouth tastes like poor choices
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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