I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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