Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
