The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
