I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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