i don't like sucking hair
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
