it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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