i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
