And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
