remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
