I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My liver just broke up with me...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
my liver is dry heaving
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